Celebrate Bisexuality+ Day 2020

Hi all,

Tomorrow, September 23, is Celebrate Bisexuality+ Day, where we celebrate non-binary sexual orientations such as bisexuality, pansexuality, and other queer identities. I want to take this opportunity to write about it and my journey.

First, here are some resources on bisexuality and non-binary sexual orientations:

If you are an ally for the bisexual community but want to know more, check out these resources:

Personally, I’ve been struggling with my sexual identity a bit and I still am. Without going into too many details, let me share some of my personal journey. In my late teens, I got curious about kissing a man and having a boyfriend. Over time, I experimented and met wonderful men, but, somehow, all serious relationships I’ve had were with women. I also wasn’t “out”. As a result, I eventually stopped thinking about myself as a queer person.

Fast-forward to when I met and eventually married my wife Corinna. She was the first partner who I felt comfortable enough to talk about my interest in men and my crushes. It took time for me to realize that I am bisexual. And still, I sometimes feel like an impostor in the LGBTQ+ community because I’m straight-passing and married to a woman, and because of all the bisexual erasure that has happened — well, let’s be honest, it still happens.

It wasn’t until earlier this year when I fully realized that there is no such thing as “being not queer enough”. I eventually understood that I don’t have to provide proof to anyone that I‘m queer. I realized that utterances like “you can’t be queer because you’re married to a woman” or “you’re gay, you just don’t know it yet” are nothing but bisexual erasure.

At first, I was angry. However, anger in itself doesn’t help much, right?! So, I started looking into how and where I can bring positive change and support others. Amount other things, my journey let me to joining the local leadership team of Pride@Apple here in Seattle (Hi Fam! <3) earlier this summer. I‘m excited of what comes next. I guess my bi journey won‘t be over any time soon and that‘s okay. Easier said than done, right?! I guess I‘m writing this for myself as much as for others. 😉

I need to remind myself that I need time and repetition to internalize the following:
We, as bisexual, pansexual, non-binary, queer people, have all the right to demand visibility and to be proud of who we are.

So, if you’re bi+ or are thinking you might be, I hope you take away one thing from reading all of this:

You. Are. Queer. Enough.

Ben

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